frankles

Shut the hell up, Barb Abney

Written by

Ben Allen

, , ,

Your voice can be really annoying. You smile and that’s good but your attempts to build a rapport between yourself and the listener comes off as crass and fake. I’ve tried to get over it, I’ve tried to get on board with your witticisms and internet-savvy ways, but I simply cannot. Sadly, you’re getting closer to that condescending dj I have come to hate in other stations, particularly in the morning. When I listen to 93X or B96 in the morning, I feel like they’re talking to me like I’m a dog who should be happy with the shit food he’s given day after day. “Do you like that? Do ya? You DO, don’t you? Of course you do! Good boy!” That isn’t you. That isn’t you yet. You seem to represent all that is going wrong with the Current. The mellowing of the playlist, the increased repetition and the inclusion of shit like Coldplay. You’re growing ever closer to the worst block party ever-promoting Cities 97. Bland. Coldplay, Gin Blossoms, Dave Matthews. Is that what’s next? 97.1 without the commercials? More time for overplayed Garbage?
Stop calling music that is over six months old ‘new’ music. It isn’t new, not in music terms. There’s so much coming out at all times that you literally have no excuse for not turning over more of your playlist. Except that people like things a little bland. Ketchup is indeed to spicy for some Minnesotans. I get that. So you need something to calm us down and make us feel comfortable, which in a manner of speaking paves the way for the introduction of new music. Still…
Bon Iver got old after a month. He’s good, no doubt, but he’s not that good. Ditto for Cloud Cult.
It’s good that you’re proud of local music. I really appreciate that because nobody else (save Radio K) really acknowledges our musicians for more than an hour a week.
I know you know better. Please start acting like it.

PS – This could have been summed up with, “Hey Abney! You’re the only one who plays Hole. Nuff said.”

PPS – If you’re still pissed, which is understandable, given this was written from a shitty place and perspective, go here for my follow up.

5 responses

  1. Pete Avatar
    Pete

    Wow. Pretty harsh.

    You do realize that DJ’s aren’t allowed to just play whatever they want, whenever they would like, right? So the songs that you hate – Coldplay, Cloud Cult, Bon Iver, etc. – are probably chosen by the music director? And that there are folks out there, myself included, that enjoy some of the tracks that you can’t stand. Take Hole for example – I loved hearing it. I don’t want to listen to it every day, nor do I own the album, but it was nice to hear something that you won’t usually hear.

    I understand your points about The Current – they seem to have made an effort to tighten up the playlist. I can’t stand the song ‘Mercury’ by Bloc Party, and seem to hear it all the time. But your anger is misdirected – don’t be mad at the DJ, be mad at the music director. Or higher up.

    As for the songs you don’t care for – accept the fact that others do like them, and just wait for the next one. Odds are good that it will be a song you enjoy.

    Reply
  2. Anonymous Avatar
    Anonymous

    Who died and made you the the authority on everything to do with music and radio? Quite frankly, why are you even bothering to take the time write such a worthless, mean blog? What does it accomplish? Do you think it makes you look cool? Playing the obnoxious, jaded hipster dude that everyone’s too intimidated to take on? I’m obviously not afraid of it. It takes a special breed of person to cause pain to others. If anything I feel sorry for you. Sorry that you have to put on such a facade to feel good about yourself. Continue to push the world away with your apathy. I promise we’ll push back against hateful people like you. We have zero tolerance for your type. It’s true that music tends to breed lots of opinions and lots of points of view. It’s an art form. You’re allowed to have opinions obviously. But,you’re not critiquing someone or something. You’re just being a bully. Whether you realize it or not, everyone knows that and has grown tired of it too. Your post should be titled “Shut the hell up, Benjamin Franklin Lane Allen.” Because, the world would be a better place if people like you were put in their place.

    Reply
  3. The Weejun Avatar
    The Weejun

    Hey, I know you. You were the one shopping at the Seward Co-op (because you would never be caught at the Wedge, or worse yet, Whole Foods). Yeah, you rode your bike there. I overheard you telling the person in produce how sick of this war and the current presidential administration you are. Right. You do and believe these things because you want to save the world, yes? But why, so you can continue to spew forth hate for no good reason? Or maybe you do these things so you can feel self righteous and lord your greenness and conscientious behavior over those less evolved than you. Anyway, I digress.

    What I really meant to say was you should really put your writing skills and energy toward something positive. So Barb Abney annoys you – turn the station. Nobody cares.

    Go back to the CC or wherever you hang out. Do a shot of Jameson for me. I am going to listen to Barb play some of my favorite tunes on the radio.

    p.s. Sorry if I put you in a box – I just know so many people like you. I hate to say it, but you all start to sound (and look) the same after a while.

    Reply
  4. Anonymous Avatar
    Anonymous

    Hah..actually I agree 100% with this. She's seems a caricature of bad daytime tv talk how hosts. Today, she gave her opinion on Snow Patrol albums and started yammering on, rating each one and how they lost her as a fan, but the latest album might just win her back? I've also recalled times when shes done the "I love it love it love it love it love it love it love it, just love it" speech after certain songs. I know she crinkles her nose when talking like that on the air. I also think she she has Wikipedia in her favorites to look up info on bands. Some of the DJs on the current tell you stuff you want to hear or little known facts (mostly Steve Seel) while Barb, the cubicle worker of DJs, does the lowest common denominator stuff. Play some more Coldplay Barb, its what we want to hear. Honest. (And yes she just told us that it was her favorite and just HAD to play it) Gah.. Mary is my saviour when she pops on afterwards and trounces down some Motorhead just for the hell of it.

    Reply
  5. Sam Avatar
    Sam

    I would love it if Jade took over her spot… There is a lot of rambling, and I really don’t enjoy her musical picks or ‘shows’. just listened to My Sharona from Total Recall, barf…

    Reply

Leave a reply to Pete Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.